Recently I helped organize a big community event. It was planned and hosted by a group of citizens and a town committee, on which I serve. I observed a few things during the process about me and other women.
The idea for the event came from two very smart men who shared their vision and their passion and got others on board. A young woman stepped up and organized the group as it was clear these two men were not strong in the detail department. The woman ran the planning sessions, sent group emails, kept us all on task, and did most of the leg work.
At the event, the women from our team took on facilitating and coordinating roles. We directed, multitasked and worked behind the scenes to make sure the event ran smoothly. The men on the team took the time to make speeches, greet the local politicians who showed up, and speak to the media and pose for photo opps. The women were not pushed out of the limelight—we had equal opportunity to speak and and to network. We didn’t take it.
When the event ended, I watched one of the men on our team, someone who had worked hard but no more so than anyone else, give interviews with several reporters. The young woman who had led the day’s efforts was across the hall breaking down the exhibits and cleaning up. No one in the media asked to speak with her because they didn’t know she existed.
Although the event was a success, and I made new friends and am proud of our team’s accomplishments, I have decided I will never volunteer like that again. Like so many women I know, I am not motivated by getting the credit. I am a little bit shy about speaking in public and standing in the spotlight. I get satisfaction from doing my best and I happen to be very good at getting things done. However, I have finally figured out at forty-something that only working behind the scenes is not enough. In doing so, I am doing a disservice to other women.
You see, while I talk about the importance of women leaders in politics, community-building and business, I have been hiding, along with so many other capable women. Ladies, we need to put a face on women’s leadership. We need to get out in front so that other women will be more likely to get involved; so that young girls have role models; so that men looking for committee chairs, candidates, and board members, will know we are capable and available.
So the next time my committee takes on a project, I will still work hard behind the scenes but I will also get over my self-consciousness and volunteer to speak at the event. I will still arrive early to set up and stay late to clean up, but I will also stop running around long enough to speak to the distinguished guests, give the media a quote and enjoy the moment. If someone asks me my role in the event, I will not deflect attention but will instead take my due credit. I’ll try not to worry that others may think I am power hungry.
Ladies, we know it takes both the visionaries and worker bees to make the world run. We’ve read the reports and seen the evidence that diversity is good for business, for community, and for politics. So what are we waiting for? If we don’t step out in front how can we expect our neighbors, our mothers and our daughters to do it?
Are you with me?
That’s a huge part of it. My request to women is that we get over it and back each other when we do toot our horns.
Is it possible that girls are taught to be modest and wait for credit to be given? Women who toot their own horn are thought of as too forward, pushy and immodest, not hardly “ladylike” qualities. Whereas, guys are expected to talk about their accomplishments and shine in the limelight. Thanks for the piece. You’ve given me some food for thought.