Is Mommy Hating on the Rise?

November 23, 2009

stroller There’s an interesting article by Lynn Harris over at Salon called “Everybody Hates Mommy.” Go check it out. Harris makes the case that “mommy bashing” is on the rise.

Like the author, I too took a train to work while pregnant. But unlike the author, who says she was rarely offered a seat, I was NEVER offered a seat. There I was eight, nine, nine and a half months pregnant (pregnancy is 40 weeks –do the math) rocking and swaying as the train cruised along. Mine was a commuter train and the conductor would come through the cars collecting fares and I would block the whole aisle. He would still manage to barge by, sometimes shoving me. My protruding stomach would get mushed into the back of a seat and the conductor’s behind would rub across mine. Every morning was a new experience in humiliation, hostility and disgust. I never considered there was mommy hating going on. I just wrote it off as the sad world we live in where people keep their heads down and use newspapers, cell phones and iPods to tune out strangers.

And unlike the author, I dwell in the burbs not the city so I don’t witness the stroller gangs every day. Instead, I see the minivan brigade. And I confess, sometimes they really bug the crap out of me. You know, the way they absentmindedly drive those big ugly vehicles while talking on their cell phones. And the fact they arrive at school pick up 20 minutes earlier to get the best parking spots. And then of course they idle their cars while they wait.

I admit, I find it bizarre, and yes, annoying the way the “good” moms are always packing snacks for their kids. They have snacks at the park, snacks at soccer practice, snacks in the car. Why can’t their kids go an hour without a snack? And why do I care? Because I look like the bad mom who never has any damn Goldfish with her. But I digress.

So while I, clearly, have been known to do a little mommy-judging myself, I think Harris has a point. Mothers are under attack more so now, then maybe ever before. There’s been a media backlash on mother’s who drink, mother’s who let their kids walk alone and mothers-to-be who might harm their fetus. Has Dad ever experienced this level of scrutiny?