Hello Ladies Six Tools to Tame Stress

Things are intense around here. Last week I attended a funeral and this week I have another one. And in between, I got some shocking news.  On top of that, I am overcommitted with volunteer work, the Senate is debating women’s health (which no doubt will be a frustrating experience) and Christmas is weeks away. All I want to do is crawl under the covers and stay there until Sunday.

Any glossy magazine would tell me that during a stressful period like this I should get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise and find some “me” time. What a load of crap. Isn’t the whole point that I don’t have any time? And tonight when I have only 20 minutes between meetings to come home and eat, I am not going to prepare fish, poultry or legumes (partly because I don’t really know what legumes are). I am going to grab a Diet Coke and a handful of chips. But even though my diet and exercise habits might resemble that of a sloth or a teenage boy, I do have a few tricks of my own to help me power through this week. And because we all have weeks like this, especially around the holidays, I’ve decided to share the “Hello Ladies Six Tools to Tame Stress.”

1. My grandmother’s coffee mug. I have a mug that belonged to my grandmother. It’s smaller than my standard Crate and Barrel mug, but I drink from it on the days I need extra strength. I picture my grandmother standing in her kitchen, getting her caffeine fix and mentally preparing for her eight kids to wake up and her crazy, hectic day to start. As I drink from it, I ask her to send me some of her strength. She always does. There’s nothing like tapping into the wisdom of our elders.
2. Big, bold jewelry.  I also look to another strong woman for guidance and so on my most challenging days, I ask myself WWWWD? What would Wonder Woman do? She would wear her biggest bracelets and use them to deflect any bullet headed her way. So when the world is out to get you, wear your boldest statement necklace, your widest cuffs and your biggest, shiniest earrings and let their fabulousness deflect any bullets you may need to dodge.
3. Uggs. Pretty accessories will help you shine in public, and then ugly accessories can help you unwind at home. Ugg boots are more than a fashion statement gone bad. They are a sartorial “Do Not Disturb” sign. When I slip into that sheepskin I slip into my own personal zone – think of them as the Calgon bubble bath for the woman who has no time to soak in a tub.
4. The off button. Speaking of do not disturb, I am not afraid to use is the off button on my cell phone. If I am home, in my Uggs, the cell goes off. And yes, I do screen calls to my home phone.  Ladies, remember that we control our cell phones, not the other way around.
5. The lock on the backdoor.  Something’s got to give in a time like this. So I choose to give up dishes, laundry and vacuuming. Unlike the people in my life, and the work that pays the bills, the mess will wait. So lock the back door so no visitors can stop by and see the mess and hold off on cleaning until things are less hectic.
6. My IPod. Even with the right accessories, the spirit of my grandmother and the freedom of saying no to housework, I will still long to escape from the stresses and the obligations of the week.  So I will daydream about being someone else. Like maybe, a pop star. Remember, a sensible family sedan can easily transform into a stage when the windows are up and nobody is around. So while I am commuting from meeting to wake and back to meeting again in my appropriate black suit and great accessories, I will crank the iPod and pretend to be an 80s pops star dressed in something cheap and tacky and I will belt out some tunes using my Diet Coke can from dinner  as a microphone.

I can do this. And you can too.

Tags: healthcare reform, stress

This entry was posted on Monday, December 7th, 2009 at 10:00 am and is filed under Feminist Forte. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.