Monthly Archives: December 2009

Hello Ladies Six Tools to Tame Stress

December 7, 2009

superhero

Things are intense around here. Last week I attended a funeral and this week I have another one. And in between, I got some shocking news. On top of that, I am overcommitted with volunteer work, the Senate is debating women’s health (which no doubt will be a frustrating experience) and Christmas is weeks away. All I want to do is crawl under the covers and stay there until Sunday.

Any glossy magazine would tell me that during a stressful period like this I should get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise and find some “me” time. What a load of crap. Isn’t the whole point that I don’t have any time? And tonight when I have only 20 minutes between meetings to come home and eat, I am not going to prepare fish, poultry or legumes (partly because I don’t really know what legumes are). I am going to grab a Diet Coke and a handful of chips. But even though my diet and exercise habits might resemble that of a sloth or a teenage boy, I do have a few tricks of my own to help me power through this week. And because we all have weeks like this, especially around the holidays, I’ve decided to share the “Hello Ladies Six Tools to Tame Stress.”

My grandmother’s coffee mug. I have a mug that belonged to my grandmother. It’s smaller than my standard Crate and Barrel mug, but I drink from it on the days I need extra strength. I picture my grandmother standing in her kitchen, getting her caffeine fix and mentally preparing for her eight kids to wake up and her crazy, hectic day to start. As I drink from it, I ask her to send me some of her strength. She always does. There’s nothing like tapping into the wisdom of our elders.
Big, bold jewelry. I also look to another strong woman for guidance and so on my most challenging days, I ask myself WWWWD? What would Wonder Woman do? She would wear her biggest bracelets and use them to deflect any bullet headed her way. So when the world is out to get you, wear your boldest statement necklace, your widest cuffs and your biggest, shiniest earrings and let their fabulousness deflect any bullets you may need to dodge.
Uggs. Pretty accessories will help you shine in public, and then ugly accessories can help you unwind at home. Ugg boots are more than a fashion statement gone bad. They are a sartorial “Do Not Disturb” sign. When I slip into that sheepskin I slip into my own personal zone – think of them as the Calgon bubble bath for the woman who has no time to soak in a tub.
The off button. Speaking of do not disturb, I am not afraid to use is the off button on my cell phone. If I am home, in my Uggs, the cell goes off. And yes, I do screen calls to my home phone. Ladies, remember that we control our cell phones, not the other way around.
The lock on the backdoor. Something’s got to give in a time like this. So I choose to give up dishes, laundry and vacuuming. Unlike the people in my life, and the work that pays the bills, the mess will wait. So lock the back door so no visitors can stop by and see the mess and hold off on cleaning until things are less hectic.
My IPod. Even with the right accessories, the spirit of my grandmother and the freedom of saying no to housework, I will still long to escape from the stresses and the obligations of the week. So I will daydream about being someone else. Like maybe, a pop star. Remember, a sensible family sedan can easily transform into a stage when the windows are up and nobody is around. So while I am commuting from meeting to wake and back to meeting again in my appropriate black suit and great accessories, I will crank the iPod and pretend to be an 80s pops star dressed in something cheap and tacky and I will belt out some tunes using my Diet Coke can from dinner as a microphone.

I can do this. And you can too.

Steinem Endorses Coakley and Other News of the Week

December 4, 2009

By Hello Ladies

suffragette It was another busy week and we are glad it is winding down. We’ve compiled some follow up reading for you on the topics we covered this week. But first, some news.

Massachusetts Senate candidate Martha Coakley announced today the endorsement of Gloria Steinem, founding editor and publisher of Ms. magazine, co-founder of the National Women’s Political Caucus and long-time women’s rights activist.

What is exciting and significant about this endorsement is it is yet another example that Coakley is not afraid of gender. Other women candidates often feel pressure to downplay women’s rights for fear of being seen as “just” a woman’s candidate. On the flip side, if they talk tough or wear pantsuits instead of skirts, they are criticized for being a “woman acting like a man.” Coakley is simply running on her track record and the important issues, one of which is women’s rights. Her opponents aren’t trying to hide the fact they are men and she’s not hiding the fact she is a woman.

Speaking of the Massachusetts Senate race…

Sexism Alive and Well: Joan Vennochi at The Boston Globe had a great op-ed this week on the old boy’s network. It talks about how the network protects the men’s club. Read it here.

National Day of Action: For a round up of actions and articles on the Stupak-Pitts Amendment and the fight to protect women’s rights visit The Women’s Media Center. And yes, Senator Nelson is still working on his Stupak-like Amendment.

World Aids Day: Another round up of blog posts this time on World Aids Day can be found here at Global Health Progress.

Turkeys: Roman Polanski made bail and moved to his ski chalet. The New York Times wrote a story about it and never used the word rape. Not once.

Chris Brown will tell the world tonight he is “really sorry” about beating up Rhianna. As my daughter would say, “Whatever.”

And Tiger Woods, well, we still think his problems are personal and none of our business. This whole incident is however, a good reminder that sports stars are superb athletes, not heroes. Imagine if we found our role models and heroes in our own lives instead of on the television? After all, small, everyday acts of kindness impact our lives much more than the fame and wealth of strangers.

Sexism Alive and Well

December 3, 2009

By Hello Ladies

hen Lest you think we were making any progress with regards to gender issues, allow me to burst your bubble. The primary election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusetts is less than a week away (Tuesday, Dec. 8 — don’t forget to vote if you live in the Commonwealth) and the media seems to be running out of things to write about in this race. So they are reverting to some old school tricks.

Most political watchers consider this a dull election. It is highly unlikely that a Republican would ever take the Kennedy Seat, so the only real race is among four hopefuls from the Democratic party. But many see these four candidates Attorney General Martha Coakley, Rep. Michael Capuano, businessman Stephen Pagliuca and City Year co-founder Alan Khazei as so similar that it doesn’t make for good politics or much voter choice.

Choice, however, has been the one key differentiator among the candidates. Martha Coakley quickly took a stance on the anti-abortion Stupak-Pitts amendment added to the House healthcare bill and said she would not vote for a bill that included it. Stupak-Pitts was a so-called concession in the House vote last month. The compromise: women’s rights in exchange for healthcare reform. Coakley says she is confident we can pass healthcare reform without sacrificing women. Capuano has waffled on the topic. Pagliuca and Khazei vow not to let a little something like women’s access to reproductive rights get in the way of progress.

But apparently, the two main newspapers in Massachusetts don’t feel this issue is exciting enough and doesn’t make for good newspaper copy. So they are relying on a tried and true approach to sell papers: sexism!

Those of us in Massachusetts were not surprised by Howie Carr’s column yesterday in The Boston Herald. (Insulted and annoyed? Yes. But surprised? Not at all.) Carr wrote:

“If you want to know which men in your neighborhood are henpecked, check out the houses with the Coakley yard signs out front.”

and

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say if her name were Martin Coakley, her candidacy would be a joke.”

and

“She is woman, hear her roar, or is it purr?”

But Alex Beam’s column in The Boston Globe today, “The Babe Factor,” was a surprise. After telling us women told him not to write this and his editors will pretend they didn’t know about it, Beam shares this gem:

“…someone has to say it: Martha Coakley is a very good-looking woman…Call it the babe factor.”

He goes on to say, “I know what you are thinking, and you are right. She does not photograph particularly well.”

Nope, that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking Alex Beam is a jerk.

He then enlightens us that Coakey is better looking in person and that women over 50 can indeed be attractive before he launches into a discussion about her wardrobe. Coakley, he says, “…looks great in pants suits; Hillary Clinton without the baggage, you might say.”

It seems to me Coakley carries the exact same baggage as Clinton. A powerful woman, a true contender, is once again reduced to her looks and wardrobe by the mainstream media. What are you so afraid of Mr. Beam?

Thank God for men like my henpecked husband (we have a Coakley sign out front) who said of the column, “Beam and his editor should be fired for that.”

National Day of Action

December 2, 2009

By Hello Ladies

Protect Women's Health protester Today, Planned Parenthood is sponsoring a National Day of Action to lobby the Senate for health care reform that ensures women’s access to reproductive health care. Busloads of women arrived in Washington, D.C. this morning and even more women are writing, tweeting and making calls.

As you know, the House of Representatives passed a healthcare bill last month which included an amendment banning abortion, the Stupak-Pitts Amendment. The ban goes well beyond the existing Hyde amendment, which prohibits federal funding for abortion. And it could prohibit a woman’s access to full reproductive healthcare including care for miscarriages and high-risk pregnancies.

This amendment violates the underlying principle of health care reform, as promised by President Obama — that reform will not cause any U.S. citizen to lose benefits they already have. It supposedly allows women to purchase a separate, single-service “abortion rider,” but these riders don’t exist.

Now Senators Hatch and Nelson are planning to introduce a similar amendment to the Senate healthcare bill. Click here to contact your Senators and ask them to pass healthcare reform that works for women as well as men.

(Photo used under Creative Commons license.)