Dear CBS
Dear CBS:
This weekend my family is going to spend time together celebrating life –we are going to watch the Super Bowl. I hope that during the event you won’t air any frightening or violent commercials for prime-time television shows like CSI or for R-rated movies. My children get really frightened when they see those ads during Sunday afternoon games in the regular season.
Actually, forgive me for suggesting you would air any inappropriate commercials this weekend. After all, I know you have gone to great lengths to protect my children. Thanks to you, my kids won’t hear the phrase “Go to hell” in any ads from Electronic Arts. That would have been just shocking. “Hell awaits” is much more family-friendly. 
And I am so relieved that because of you my children won’t see two men kissing in a ManCrunch ad. Seeing that ad might have forced me to teach my children acceptance and tolerance and they are much too young for that.
Since you handled those other thorny issues so well, I am hoping you can help me with another tough parenting topic. When my young daughter asks about the half-naked, NFL cheerleaders gyrating on the sidelines during the game, how do you suggest I tackle the topic? Do you think she will respond better to a discussion about sexism, chauvinism, or misogyny?
Thank you for your help. I respect your opinion and look forward to hearing from you.
Signed,
A concerned, loving parent
Dear concerned, loving parent,
Let me know when CBS replies. I think those half-naked ladies have a better chance of being allowed to suit up and play football than you hearing from them.
Thanks for a great piece,
SMID