Making Work Work

At the start of the “Thanksgiving Family Forum,” a GOP primary debate held earlier this month in Iowa, presidential candidate Michele Bachmann walked around the table pouring water for all of her opponents and for Frank Luntz, the debate moderator. When Luntz thanked her, Bachmann laughed and responded, “I’m used to it Frank.” Watch the video here and then ask yourself, was Bachmann’s behavior helpful or harmful?

The answer may vary depending on your frame of reference. To some, Bachmann’s action may appear to be a simple, meaningless gesture. She was pouring a glass of water for herself; so why not just pour for the table? After all, it only took a minute or two. It was helpful and only a liberal-leaning blogger could make an issue out of this, right?

Not true. I am sure political strategists think Bachmann made a bad move. After all, it doesn’t look very presidential to wait on others. Presidents are served at the table; they don’t do the serving. Now remember: we’ve never had a woman in office. Therefore, what most people consider to look presidential, is going to look like male behavior. And men seem to know that when they are engaged in important discussions, someone should pour the water for them. So a savvy political pundit would probably view Bachmann’s gesture as harmful.

Some of the women I know — especially the mothers, would have poured the water instinctively. And like Bachmann, they would have dismissed what they did because they are “used to it.” They are used to helping others get settled at the table before they start their own meal. The are used to having a meaningful conversation while doing something else like cutting someone’s food, passing a side dish, pouring a glass of milk. If they waited for a free moment to engage, they’d never finish a sentence. Women like that are used to being helpful. But one place helpful can be harmful is at work.

A few years ago, I worked in an office where I was the only full-time woman on the management team. I was also the first and only female vice president. Once a month, the management team met in the conference room to review all aspects of the business – from financials, to staffing, to product development. At the end of those meetings the conference room was always a mess – papers and Starbuck cups all over the table and product samples all over the floor. When I first worked there, I would grab some of the samples at the conclusion of the meeting, return them to the warehouse and then go back to my office. On my way home later that day, I would pass the conference room and, probably 90 percent of the time, I would notice whatever I hadn’t picked up was still in there. And so I would stop and clean the room.

But after a while I noticed that when those monthly management team meetings ended, my male peers would leave the room carrying only their laptops. So I stopped cleaning up too. (Unless it was a Wednesday – every Thursday at 7 a.m. I attended another meeting in the same room with a large group. And if the room was ready, the meeting was more likely to start on time.) It felt petty to leave the mess. After all, it only took 5 or ten minutes to restore the room. But I started to wonder if cleaning up hurt my image. If I wanted the men to accept me, and other women, as part of the team, then did I have to do what they did and not help with anything perceived to be below a VP assignment? This company didn’t have an office manager nor did the management team have admins so it wasn’t as simple as leaving the mess to the person whose job description covered it. The mess remained until someone brought an outside partner or vendor in for a meeting or until one of the “girls” from accounting or customer service used the room for a birthday, shower or holiday potluck.

Leaving the mess also felt counterintuitive. I attributed much of my career success to hard work, being a team player, doing whatever needed to be done. One of my first bosses, a well-respected advisor to many CEOS, impressed me because she knew how to do every job in the office and how to use every piece of office equipment. She was a  master delegator who focused on high-value tasks, but when something needed to get done  - she could make it happen. It seemed like a pretty powerful approach and I’ve always tried to emulate it.

I don’t subscribe to the idea women need to act like men at work. I believe each gender, each individual really, brings unique characteristics to the office and diversity is the best strategy. But women do need to mind their image. And sometimes that means not being helpful is the most helpful thing they can do for their own careers.

What do you think? Do you try to avoid administrative tasks so as to appear more managerial?