Let's give thanks to the lungs and vocal cords that helped Jennifer Hudson belt out "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going."
I promised myself by the time I turned 40 I would run the Falmouth Road Race. I had watched it as a spectator for years and knew one day I wanted to experience it as a participant. Four years after my deadline, I did it – I ran seven hilly miles on a humid August day. A friend told a mutual acquaintance what I had done and the acquaintance responded, “So then she must have lost some weight.” I had just run seven miles. I had honored a commitment to myself. I had a great time doing it. And she wanted to know about a number on a scale?
I started running to avoid taking a medication prescribed by my doctor. I thought my health was the motivation that helped me fit exercise into an already packed day, but when I crossed the finish line in Falmouth, I realized it was more than that.
Growing up I never played sports, much less exercised. I was the kid picked last for teams. My nickname in elementary school was Big Foot, a joke about my inability to get on base during Friday afternoon kickball games. My lack of athletic prowess only bothered me during gym class, where I always felt inept. Mostly I didn’t care because I was good at many other things. “I’m just not athletic,” I told myself and others. But post race it occurred to me: I hadn’t just been running to avoid a pill. I had been running to remove a limitation. By completing that race, I had crossed off an item from the list of things I couldn’t do, and added an item to the list of things I could. All those miles, I had something to prove and I hadn’t even realized it. I had been running to shed a label, never to shed a pound.
But as I ran, my pounds were a focus – not for me, but for others. Naturally as I went from permanent inactivity to activity my body started to shift. At least two friends, noticing the change, offered unsolicited advice about my diet to help me with my weight loss. One, during lunch, told me what “my problem” was and how to fix it. A few other friends asked me if I had lost weight. “No. the scale hasn’t moved,” I’d say planning to follow up with, “But my clothes fit differently.” But before I could get that out, they would tell me, not to get discouraged. “It will happen eventually.”
I found the exchanges off-putting but understandable. After all, a recent study from Arizona State University found many women have a fat-stigma even when their family and closest friends don’t not judge them as fat. The author of the study said, “Fat is understood culturally to represent profound personal failing.” Another study revealed 45 percent of mothers would choose to weigh 15 pounds less rather than add 15 points to their child’s IQ. And according to the National Organization for Women (NOW) 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat and 80 percent of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance. Is it any wonder my friends assumed I was trying to lose weight and wanted to help me?
The media bombards us with messages that how we look matters more than what we do or who we are. Recently, Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson was quoted in Self magazine as saying, “”I’m prouder of my weight loss than my Oscar!” That’s just sad. Anyone can sit around and not eat. Not anyone can play Effie White (or run seven miles!).
Advertising executives, marketing professionals, reality tv producers – thye are all paid to sell product and they do that by telling women we are not thin or pretty enough. Intellectually we know it’s not true but still it’s hard to focus on our accomplishments when it seems like the rest of the world is focused on our appearance. So what do we do?
We suggest focusing on what your body can do instead of how it looks because when you stop and consider all your body does for you, your dress size loses its power. Today is Love Your Body Day, a day organized by NOW Foundation “to send a positive message to women and girls that beauty comes in all colors, shapes and sizes.” In honor of Love Your Body Day, why don’t you thank your body instead of criticizing it?
Today I am thanking my body for:
- tolerating an uncomfortable corporate cube for hours every day because the work I do in that cube feeds my family
- driving 200 miles yesterday without any aches or kinks so that I could help my elderly parents
- banging out a 700 word blog post for Love My Body Day without any signs of carpal tunnel
- accommodating my awesome 3 ½ inch heeled pumps
- running 3 miles last night – putting that much more distance between me and Big Foot.
And if any well-meaning friends have anything to say about my body, a simple “Thank you,” will suffice.
Now, what can I thank your body for today?
This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival. Click here to read more posts on the topic.
Don’t forget: “Miss Representation” airs Thursday, October 20 9 p.m. ET on OWN. This film looks at the messages the media perpetuates that women and girls’ value comes from beauty and sexuality and examines how those messages impact the way in which women are viewed in society, by themselves and others.
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