Posts Tagged ‘ Red Sox ’

On Baseball and Postpartum Depression

February 8, 2011
By Hello Ladies

Today is Truck Day in Boston – the day the Red Sox equipment truck leaves for spring training. It’s a sign of hope. Here’s a story about hope.

Postpartum 
Progress < a>

She was my second child so I wasn’t quite a novice this time. I knew what to expect when she was born. I would need to take it easy for six weeks after the Caesarean. I would get almost no sleep — maybe three hours total each day. Nights would be terrifying and filled with fear. What if I fall asleep and drop her? What if I roll over on her and smother her? What if she dies from SIDS? Days would vary. I would experience moments of bliss when I nursed and gazed at my new baby. And I would have moments of sheer frustration when I focused on my still fat body and the fact I was stuck on the couch for weeks.

This time, however, things were different. There was more frustration and fear than there was bliss. My incision hurt whenever I moved –my first Caesarean hadn’t bothered me at all. This time around I had a two year old child, my beautiful son, who wanted me to pick him up and cuddle him. But because of my aching incision, I could not. I was tired and bitter.

Three months passed and I did my best to suppress my negative feelings. I returned to work at the end of my maternity leave only to be laid off. My only escape was watching the Boston Red  Sox play – they were having an amazing season. I had inherited my love off baseball from my mother and I was a diehard Sox fan even though my team had never won a championship in my lifetime.

She was in my arms the night the Red Sox finally did win the World Series – the team’s first in 86 years. To commemorate the event, I took a picture of her wearing a Red Sox hat and seated next to a bottle of champagne. That picture captured a rare bright spot during a long, dark autumn.

As winter approached, my mood worsened. I decided to stop nursing her at eight months even though I was still home full time. I had nursed him for a full year, lugging my breast pump to and from work everyday. With the weaning came some drastic changes in my hormone level. I became very moody. At midnight every night, she would still be crying. My husband and son would be asleep and I would be crazy. I felt alone in my despair. I wanted a job. I wanted hope. I wanted sleep.

I hated my husband for being asleep when I was awake. I hated myself for not being able to comfort her. I would sit in the rocking chair in her nursery, too tired to hold her, but too racked with guilt to sleep and I would beg her to just give me a break. I felt so much shame. What kind of a mother screams at a baby? What kind of a mother can’t calm her child and get her to sleep? What kind of monster was I?

Eventually she and I would both fall asleep. In the morning, I would feel much stronger than I had the night before and I would tell myself everything was okay. I could make it through the rest of the day.

I know now that I was suffering from postpartum depression. I know that I should have called my doctor for help. I still worry that my behavior in those months will affect my daughter for the rest of her life.

But I also know this. It is never too late to seek help — I finally went to a doctor. I know I can’t change the way I acted but I can provide her a better future. I know I was sick and I can’t continue to punish myself for my behavior.  I know without a doubt that I love and adore my little girl.

And I know that she and I will always share a special bond. Just like my mother introduced me to baseball, I have passed the tradition on to my daughter. Now when the Red Sox play, she climbs into my lap, we cuddle, and we watch the games together.

Play Ball

March 5, 2010
By Hello Ladies

A friend recently pointed out to me that our weekly hometown paper disproportionately covers boy’s sports over girl’s sports. I never noticed because the only sport I follow is professional baseball. (Go Sox!) How sad given the fact our high school girl’s teams have had some incredible championship years. The boy’s teams haven’t fared as well. Still it shouldn’t surprise me.

Last year I questioned a local blogger on a statement he made that “people prefer men’s sports to women’s.” I asked, do we really “know” that or do we know that historically men’s sports have dominated the media? Another commenter on the blog cited advertising dollars and paying audiences as proof “that men’s sports are preferred by more people.” And further proof? He watches men’s sports almost exclusively. I bet during the recent Olympics he watched men’s ski jumping and not women’s. Oh right, the women weren’t allowed to compete. Anyway, enough complaining. Time to back our words with action.

If you understand the benefits of girls participating in team sports, if you believe women deserve equality, if you are tired of the mainstream media serving up male athletes and ignoring the women, join this group on Facebook, “I pledge to attend one women’s sports event (college/pro) in 2010.”

The group’s mission is fantastic. From the Facebook page, “Being pro-woman, feminist or full of girl power requires action. Spurred on by the attention women athletes received during the Olympics and the history of that attention waning afterward, we created this challenge to put our money where our heart is. Everyone who becomes a fan is pledging to attend one, just one, professional or collegiate, women’s sporting event by the end of 2010.” The group was partially inspired by this commentary from Frank Deford of NPR.

As we’ve said before, if we expect little girls to believe us when we tell them they can grow up and be anything they want, then we need to show them strong women role models. And this mother wouldn’t mind watching her daughter pitch for the Red Sox someday.

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