Posts Tagged ‘ sexism ’

Won’t Work for Free

March 30, 2010
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I'm not a housewife with a hobby

I am reeling. Still. Yesterday morning my client asked me to work for free. The client runs a startup organization and I know money is always tight when a company is trying to get off the ground. Businesses need marketing to attract clients. And they need clients to pay for marketing. It’s always a bit of a chicken egg scenario in the beginning. So I thought what my client was asking was for me to defer billing for several months. I’ve done that before.

But no, that’s not what he wanted. He wanted me to work for FREE. I am glad I asked for clarification. In exchange for my expertise, honed for more than 20 years in the business, he was offering me “exposure.” And he said he “hoped” to be able to pay me someday.

I run a business.  I feed my family from that business. Hope and exposure don’t buy groceries or pay the mortgage. I am not a recent college grad just starting out and trying to build a portfolio. I am not a housewife with a hobby. I am a breadwinner.

Seriously, would my client have asked a man to work for free? I can’t say definitively but I tend to believe this kind of thing happens much more to women than it does to men. Wake up world.  More women are on the national payroll than men. In married couple families, the average working woman contributes approximately 40 percent of the household income. And one third of all U.S. households are supported by women breadwinners today. We are not working to fill the vacation fund, the shoe fund or because we suffer from some kind of homemaker ennui. We are professional women. Devaluing a woman’s work (and I’m not talking about laundry and dishes) is insulting to the individual woman and fiscally irresponsible to society.

Below are three related posts from around the web that address the more subtle version of “will you work for free?” which is “Can I pick your brain?” And note, one is written by a man.

Tara Hunt’s “10 Ways to Reply to: ‘Can I pick your brain?’”

Nicole Jordan’s “No. You Can’t Pick My Brain”

Kevin Dugan’s “Can I Pick Your Brain?”

Like I said on Twitter yesterday, “If one more person asks me to work for “exposure” I am going to flash them and tell them I can expose myself.”

Newsweek takes on sexism

March 24, 2010
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Brava to the three Newsweek writers who take on gender discrimination at their own magazine. In the March 29 issue Jessica Bennett, Jesse Ellison and Sarah Ball ask just how far women at Newsweek have come since 46 women filed a sexual discrimination suit against the magazine in 1970. They go on to describe a culture of sexism perhaps less blatant than the corporate landscape of the 1960s and 70s but harder to confront. It is the micro inequities women face every day that can be hardest to address. Tell me “women don’t write here” “or sell here” or “manage here” and I can deal with that. But fail to give me the choice assignments and instead hand them to my male colleagues and what do I do with that? And good luck getting any support from coworkers – male or female. No one wants to fight the good fight, especially since we’ve been told we already won.

Write the authors, “There’s no denying that we’re enjoying many of the spoils of those women’s victories. We are no longer huddled in secret; we’re reporting for a national magazine, and we’re the ones doing the writing. We have a president whose first act in office was to sign a law that promises equal pay for equal work. Yet the fact that such a law is necessary makes the point: equality is still a myth. …We’ve come a long way, baby. But there’s still a long way to go.”

What I found to be even more revealing than the article is a slideshow on the magazine’s website showing how Newsweek has reported on women over the years.

- There is the cover featuring Bryn Mawr students from 1966. The accompanying article says “for the first time, the career drive in girls exceeds the mating drive.”

- “The Divorced Woman” cover in 1967.

- “The New Woman” cover in 1971 featuring Gloria Steinem.

- The “Women at Work and Home” cover in 1980. The article inside the magazine states, “The women’s movement, after concentrating on legislative action in the past decade, has now vowed to make day care and other family issues top political priorities in the ’80s.” Wow. We’re still trying to make them a priority in 2010.

- Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears on the “Girls Gone Wild” cover in 2007. Apparently, celebrity bad boys got a pass.

- And the Sarah Palin in running clothes cover of 2009.

According to the White House Project, women account for just 22 percent of the leadership positions in journalism. Until women reach critical mass in the newsroom, we can expect more of the same – stories discussing us as alien beings who’s desires to learn, work, have children, not have children, marry, divorce, reach the corner office and the oval office, are radical new ideas instead of the normal desires of 51 percent of the population.

Until women reach critical mass in the newsroom, we can expect more of the same – stories discussing us as alien beings who’s desires to learn, work, have children, not have children, marry, divorce, reach the corner office and the oval office are radical new ideas instead of the normal desires of 51 percent of the population.   

 

 
 

 

 

 
  
 
 

For the Ladies

February 12, 2010
By

Remember that Dodge Charger ad titled, “Man’s Last Stand” that aired during the Super Bowl? The one where the man says he will drive the car he wants to drive since the woman in his life makes him do oppressive things like put his dirty socks in the hamper, clean the sink after he shaves and carry her lip balm.

Well, there is a “Woman’s Last Stand“ commercial too. And you must see it. This one, is for the ladies.

Enjoy the weekend!

Super Bowl Backlash

February 9, 2010
By

This year’s Super Bowl ads revealed a common, and bizarre, theme. More jarring than even any of the GoDaddy.com spots, were the number of ads that portrayed women as controlling, emasculating and domineering. Or did they portray men as weak, pathetic and incompetent? It was hard to tell.

For starters, there was the Dodge Charger ad titled, “Man’s Last Stand.” The ad implied that because of women, men have it tough, real tough. Men (because of the bossy women in their lives) have to walk the dog, eat fruit, shave, clean the sink, take our calls, say yes when we want them to say yes, listen to our opinions and put the toilet seat down. I might have felt sorry for these pathetic creatures portrayed in the ad, if I hadn’t remembered that men do not have to do the majority of the housework, don’t take home .77 cents on the dollar in their checks every week, are occupying the corner office, and Don’t. Give. Birth!

And Flo TV’s ad “Spineless” painted an equally upsetting image of a poor man’s life. In this spot, sportscaster Jim Nantz, whose own marriage suffered when his wife lost interest in his career, informed us that Jason, the star of the spot, had his spine removed by his girlfriend. This rendered Jason incapable of watching football. Hence, the unhappy couple is seen shopping at the mall.  Nantz implores Jason to “change out of that skirt.”

Then there was the Dockers, “Wear No Pants” ad. This ad called for men to wear the pants and referred to Dockers recent online “Man-ifesto.” The Man-ifesto lamented the fact that “somewhere along the way, the world decided it no longer needed men.”

Perhaps it is because women are so horrible and overbearing that a man gladly gave away his wife in order to protect his Bridgestone tires in the tire company’s ad titled, “Future Car.” You can view all of this year’s Super Bowl ads here.

So many of the ads sent a specific message – that men are emasculated in their relationships with women and must reclaim some bizarre form of masculinity/independence. Can we blame this theme on the so-called mancession? Are men feeling insecure because they have suffered so many job losses resulting in more women on the national payroll? Are they annoyed by the statistics that show an uptick in the amount of housework men are doing? Are they feeling discomfort because more women are breadwinners? Are they threatened by Maria Shriver’s report claiming it’s a woman’s nation?  

Something is fueling a backlash. That was obvious on Sunday. And so I am left wondering:  If being in a relationship with women renders so many men impotent, wouldn’t these men have benefitted from CBS airing the Man Crunch ad? After all, shouldn’t we all have freedom of choice?

Dear CBS

February 4, 2010
By

Dear CBS:

This weekend my family is going to spend time together celebrating life –we are going to watch the Super Bowl. I hope that during the event you won’t air any frightening or violent commercials for prime-time television shows like CSI or for R-rated movies. My children get really frightened when they see those ads during Sunday afternoon games in the regular season.

Actually, forgive me for suggesting you would air any inappropriate commercials this weekend. After all, I know you have gone to great lengths to protect my children. Thanks to you, my kids won’t hear the phrase “Go to hell” in any ads from Electronic Arts. That would have been just shocking. “Hell awaits” is much more family-friendly.

And I am so relieved that because of you my children won’t see two men kissing in a ManCrunch ad. Seeing that ad might have forced me to teach my children acceptance and tolerance and they are much too young for that.

Since you handled those other thorny issues so well, I am hoping you can help me with another tough parenting topic. When my young daughter asks about the half-naked, NFL cheerleaders gyrating on the sidelines during the game, how do you suggest I tackle the topic? Do you think she will respond better to a discussion about sexism, chauvinism, or misogyny?

Thank you for your help. I respect your opinion and look forward to hearing from you.

Signed,

A concerned, loving parent

Super Bowl, Super Hypocrisy

February 3, 2010
By

As you have probably heard, there is a major controversy brewing around one of the Super Bowl ads scheduled to run this year. CBS has accepted an ad from Focus on the Family featuring college football player and Heisman trophy winner Tim Tebow and his mother Pam.

While living in the Philippines and pregnant with Tim, Pam Tebow says she was counseled to have an abortion because she had been taking harmful medication to treat dysentery. Pam chose to keep the baby and the result was her football star son.

Focus on the Family describes itself as, “a global non-profit Christian organization with a vision for healing brokenness in families, communities and societies worldwide through Christ. The purpose of the ministry is to strengthen, defend and celebrate the institution of the traditional family and to highlight the unique and irreplaceable role that it plays in God’s larger story of redemption.”

In January the group issued a press release about the ad. “The 30-second spot from the international family-help organization will feature college football star Tim Tebow and his mother, Pam. They will share a personal story centered on the theme of “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life.”

The Women’s Media Center (WMC) has called on CBS to cancel the ad but so far the media entity is not budging.

I have been trying to write something about the ad and the controversy for days but there is just so much to say that I’ve been struggling to organize all of my thoughts. So, in the spirit of one of CBS’ own shows, I’ve decided to do a Top Ten List. Here are my “Top Ten Reasons CBS is the Most Hypocritical Organization Ever.”

  1. CBS had a policy not to air advocacy ads up until – well, nobody is really sure when.
  2. CBS reversed the policy but apparently only told Focus on the Family about the policy reversal. In fact, CBS and Focus on the Family have been discussing this ad for months.
  3. In past years, this “no advocacy” policy has been the excuse for blocking ads from PETA and MoveOn.org. CBS also blocked this religious ad.
  4. CBS ignored calls from the WMC to cancel the ad stating, “At CBS, our standards and practices process continues to adhere to a process that ensures all ads — on all sides of an issue — are appropriate for air. We will continue to consider responsibly produced ads from all groups for the few remaining spots in Super Bowl XLIV.”  But then we learned CBS rejected an ad from a man-only dating site. Stating, “…the creative is not within the Network’s Broadcast Standards for Super Bowl Sunday.” View the ad here.
  5. One of the concerns the WMC has with the Tebow ad is that women should have a choice in determining what is best for them when it comes to reproductive rights. Pam Tebow had a choice after all.  But did she really? Abortion is illegal in the Philippines and was when Tebow was pregnant with Tim.
  6. With its slippery, ever-changing policies, CBS is practicing censorship, plain and simple.
  7. CBS has no business, absolutely none, dictating morality. They are airing the Super Bowl after all. You know the Super Bowl, the annual winter rite where male athletes are super heroes and women wearing very little do suggestive dances on the sidelines to cheer them on.
  8.  8. CBS is the same organization that aired the Grammys. You know the Grammys, the show that featured Jamie Foxx singing his date rape anthem, “Blame it on the Alcohol.” Click here to read the repulsive lyrics.
  9. 9. At that same Grammy show last weekend, CBS bleeped out the f-words during a performance by Lil Wayne (who is headed to prison next week), Drake and Eminem.
  10. 10. According to the Parents Television Council report on violence in television, “Women in Peril,” CBS showed more incidences of violence against women on screen during 2004 to 2009 than ABC, NBC and even Fox. So while CBS wants to protect us from abortion and men kissing, and four-letter words, they have no problem airing violent imagery-especially when the victims of the violence are women.

Ladies, I’m not CBS so I am not going to try to dictate what is right and wrong, or what you should or shouldn’t do. If you enjoy football, or advertising, or the potato salad your friends serve, then by all means, tune in to the game, attend that party this Sunday. But be aware of what you are watching. The Super Bowl is not a family event. The Super Bowl is not some unifying, national celebration. The Super Bowl is a football game played by well-paid men, glorified for their athletic abilities. It is run by a major media entity with shifting censorship policies and it is paid for by organizations that make a pretty profit portraying women as sex objects and victims of violence.

Party on!

If you want to sign a petition asking CBS to pull the Focus on the Family ad, click here.

I forgot Chris Matthews was sexist

January 28, 2010
By

I forgot Chris Matthews was sexist for an hour last night.

Following the State of the Union address Matthews said of President Obama, “I was trying to think about who he was tonight. It’s interesting; he is post-racial, by all appearances. I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. He’s gone a long way to become a leader of this country and past so much history in just a year or two. I mean it’s something we don’t even think about. I was watching and I said, wait a minute, he’s an African-American guy in front of a bunch of other white people and there he is, president of the United States, and we’ve completely forgotten that tonight — completely forgotten it.”

Here’s a clip.

Wow. So does that means Matthews definition of post-racial is color-blind? A world where black leaders actually seem white – whatever that means? Oh Chris, you really stepped in it this time.

And then, I was watching and I said, wait a minute, he’s a sexist guy in front of a bunch of television viewers and there he is, chauvinist Hardball host, and we’ve completely forgotten that tonight – completely forgotten it.

This is the same Chris Matthews, after all, who linked Hillary Clinton to a she-devil, Nurse Ratched and Madam Defarge, referred to her as witchy, described her laugh as a cackle, and compared her voice to fingernails on a blackboard.

Do I think Matthews meant well last night? Probably. After all, Obama sends thrills up his leg.

But anyone who was surprised by Matthews’ comments last night has a short memory. He’s stepped in it before and he will surely step in it again.

Beatty Bio: Double Standard Watch

January 4, 2010
By

beatty2Happy 2010. We hope you had a fun holiday season. We did. So much fun in fact we are finding it hard to focus on the serious stuff today. So instead, we bring you news of what will surely be the next bestselling book. Next week Simon & Schuster is releasing a biography on actor Warren Beatty. Titled, “Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America,” and written by Peter Biskind the book discusses Beatty’s influence and control in Hollywood, his political involvement, and his legendary love life.

It is, of course, his love life, that is capturing headlines today. Apparently, the book claims that Beatty, star of “Splendor in the Grass” and “Dick Tracy” slept with 12,775 women. Although, according to a story in the New York Post, biographer Biskind says this number, “does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on.”  The Post reports that the biography is authorized. Beatty’s attorney, Hollywood heavyweight Bert Fields, says it is not. And Simon & Schuster describes the book in this way, “In this compulsively readable and constantly surprising book, Peter Biskind, the author of the film classics Easy Riders, Raging Bulls and Down and Dirty Pictures, writes the most intimate, revealing, and balanced biography ever of Hollywood legend Warren Beatty.”

Quite frankly, we could care less about Beatty. “Reds” was too long, “Dick Tracy” was silly and we skipped “Bulworth” and “Bugsy.” But we’ll be following this story to see if the typical Hollywood double standard plays out. Men who sleep around (at the rate of one woman per day) are “lotharios.” Women, well, we know the drill.

So far we’ve seen write-ups in People magazine: “Warren Beatty’s legendary gold crown for womanizing is about to get some added polish,” and O, The Oprah Magazine, which lists “Star” on its “10 Books to Watch For in January 2010″ with this brief description: “Sexy, sexist—and seductive. We mean Beatty and the book.”

And finally, what is it exactly about “daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, and stolen kisses” that they don’t count as sexual relations? It reminds us of something we’ve heard before.

 

Dockers Asks Men to Wear the Pants

December 15, 2009
By

dockerscropDockers, the Levi Strauss brand that makes schleppy khakis worn by Everyman, has published a “Man-ifesto” in its latest ad that wistfully recalls a time when men were men and calls on them to “step away from the salad bar” and solve the world’s problems.

The man-ifesto goes like this, “Once upon a time, men wore the pants and wore them well. Women rarely had to open doors and little old ladies never crossed the street alone.”

“But somewhere along the way the world decided it no longer needed men.”

“…today, there are questions our genderless society has no answers for. The world sits idly by as cities crumble, children misbehave, and those little old ladies remain on one side of the street. For the first times since bad guys, we need heroes. We need grownups.”

 ”It’s time to answer the call of manhood. It’s time to wear the pants.”

Note to Dockers:

Women control 85 – 90 percent of all consumer purchasing power. Women represent 52 percent of the U.S. population. There are more women on the national payroll then men. Women are the sole or primary breadwinners in a third of American households.

There’s a damn good chance it is a woman buying your pants for the men in their life. But not me. Not anymore. I take offense to the idea that my problems would be solved if I didn’t have to open a door. I take offense to the idea that men can solve all of the world’s man-made problems. I take offense to the idea that heroes and grownups come in only one model – the one with the penis.

Note to Dockers: This skirt isn’t buying Levis anymore.

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