Posts Tagged ‘ violence against women ’

Violence Against Women is Not a Partisan Issue

March 15, 2012

Senator Mikulski spoke in support of VAWA today

Today the Senate discusses the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). At issue is the renewal of a federal law first signed by President Clinton in 1994. The law helps victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking access needed services, and it improves the criminal justice system’s ability to investigate and prosecute violent crimes against women. The bill has faced almost no opposition since it was signed.

However this year, a year when women’s rights are being used as political bargaining chips and access to contraception has become an election platform, the bill passed through the Senate Judiciary Committee with no support from Republican committee members.

An article in yesterday’s New York Times, said the bill, “faces fierce opposition from conservatives.” At issue for opponents is the expansion of protections that would, “expand efforts to reach Indian tribes and rural areas…. It would also allow more battered illegal immigrants to claim temporary visas, and would include same-sex couples in programs for domestic violence.”

It is as difficult to accept that opposition to this bill is about immigration, as it is to believe the contraception bill is about religious freedom, when we have witnessed a steady stream of anti-women legislation and rhetoric happening lately. To recap just some of what’s been happening:

We saw Congressman Darrell Issa and the House Oversight Committee convene an all-male panel to discuss contraception.
We watched the Senate vote on an amendment put forth by Senator Roy Blunt which would have allowed an employer to exclude any health service from the coverage they provided employees based on any religious or moral objection.
We paid close attention as Virginia lawmakers debated a personhood bill and a bill requiring women to undergo a medically unnecessary and invasive ultrasound prior to an abortion.
We heard radio personality Rush Limbaugh call a woman a slut because she spoke about the medical benefits of contraception.
We heard Presidential hopeful Senator Rick Santorum speak out against prenatal testing, something that can be a lifesaver for many women and babies.
We hear his opponent, Governor Mitt Romney, vow to shut down Planned Parenthood.

We have seen and heard too much not to be anything but disgusted that the issue of protecting the one in four women who will experience domestic violence in her lifetime could become a partisan issue. Call your Senators today and tell them how you feel about this bill.

And, consider donating to our campaign to support the Domestic Abuse Intervention Program (DAIP) in honor of Kay Marie Sisto who was murdered by her husband on May 26, 2010. Click here to donate. You can read more about Kay here.

Also, our War on Women Pinterest board has been named one of the Best Pinterest Boards by the Huffington Post. Click here to vote it a favorite and send a message that women’s rights are an important topic.

Ladies, we are under attack. Stay informed. Stay vocal. Run for office.

If I Were Santa

December 14, 2011

By Hello Ladies

If I were Santa, I’d be making my list and checking it twice. And here are the gifts I would give:

For Our Daughters: The gift of self-esteem and positive role model s

The mass media perpetuates a message that women and girls’ value comes from beauty and sexuality – and it affects us. Sixty-five percent of women and girls have an eating disorder. Eighty percent of the op-ed pages are dominated by men. The number of women in senior management positions globally has gone from 24 to 20 percent from 2004 to 2009.

For Corporate America: More women in leadership positions

There is a large, and growing, body of research connecting women at the tops of organizations to a strong bottom line performance. However, women comprise 53 percent of new hires, but only 37 percent of managers, 26 percent of vice-presidents, and just 14 percent of executive committees.

For Working Mothers: Flexible work arrangement s … and a day of rest

The life of a working mother is challenging. Flexible work arrangements give parents the ability to work more flexibly and better manage the challenges of work and family.

For Working Families: Passage of the Paycheck Fairness Act

According to the latest data from the U.S. Census Bureau, women earn, on average, just .78 cents for every dollar a man earns. And for women of color, the gap is much greater. Fair pay is not a woman’s issue, it’s a family issue. An estimated two-thirds of all U.S. households rely on a woman’s salary at least partially.”

For All Women: The ratification of CEDAW

The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) is an international treaty that supports fundamental human rights and equality for women around the world. CEDAW was adopted in 1979 by the United Nations General Assembly. To date, 186 of 193 countries have ratified the treaty. The United States has not.

For President Obama: The courage to stand up for women’s reproductive rights

Women helped President Obama get elected in 2008 and they can be expected to play a major role in the 2012 election too. In return, women need Obama to take a stronger stance on women’s rights, and in particular, women’s reproductive health – regardless of the pressures he’s facing from his opponents.

For the GOP: The Sanctity of Life

The US ranks poorly for infant mortality rates and maternal death rates; more than two women die every day from pregnancy related causes. Yet many lawmakers try to block women’s access to much-needed health services, supposedly in the name of life. For Christmas, we want to give them the gift of truly honoring the sanctity of life – all life – and to see them work toward improving the health and life of mothers.

For Massachusetts: A woman Senator

Massachusetts has never sent a woman to the Senate. Although 51 percent of the U.S. population is female, women hold just 16.5 percent of the seats in Congress. That puts the US at 69th in the world for gender parity. We need more women in office.

For Victims of Domestic Violence: Hope

Domestic violence victims and their advocates need money to gain freedom from abuse, to protect children from abusive partners or ex-partners and develop public policy efforts related to domestic violence. Please donate and give them support and hope.

What gifts would you give? You can add to my list at The Skinny Scoop.

If I Were Santa: Gift's I'd Give

Help Put an End to Domestic Violence

July 29, 2011

By Hello Ladies

Last month we were saddened when we learned six people died in domestic violence-related murders in one Texas county. And then last week, we read in the news six people died and another four were wounded in a domestic violence-related shooting in a Texas roller rink in just one hour. Tan Do shot and killed his wife, Trini Do, her two sisters, her brother and sister-in-law, then himself, at his son’s 11^th birthday party.

The Bellingham Herald in Texas reports, “Area police say that the number of domestic violence reports, while fluctuating, remains high. North Texas police report more than 30,000 family violence incidents each year – more than three an hour. Police records indicate that the crimes are overwhelmingly against women, and experts say they represent only a fraction of the abuse that is out there.”

But domestic violence isn’t relegated to Texas. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime – an estimated 1.3 million women each year.

The owner of the roller rink where Tan Do murdered his wife and her family told a reporter, “There was nothing anyone could do.” Maybe not during the shooting, but what about during the marriage? Do had a history of abusing his wife. This morning while driving to work, I listened to some local DJs joking about a man charged with murdering his girlfriend. Apparently, the man wrote a song which foreshadows the crime. We tolerate jokes about violence against women, we accept them as part of our culture, and we skimp on education and awareness of domestic violence. We can change that.

Hello Ladies has launched a fundraising site to raising money to help victims of domestic violence. We’ve chosen the Domestic Abuse Intervention Program (DAIP) as our first charity in honor of our friend’s sister, Kay Marie Sisto, who was murdered by her husband. The DAIP is a nonprofit organization that offers domestic violence training and resources to help community activists, domestic violence workers, practitioners in the criminal and civil justice systems, human service providers, and community leaders make a direct impact on domestic violence.

Please visit our fundraising site “Hello Ladies It’s Better to Give” and make a donation of any amount. Click here to donate.

Need help? Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

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Campaign to Stop Domestic Violence

June 23, 2011

By Hello Ladies

One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime and sadly, domestic violence-related deaths are on the rise in some cities. In fact, six people died this week in one county in Texas according to news reports. It’s got to stop.

Hello Ladies is raising money for the Domestic Abuse Intervention Program (DAIP), in honor of Kay Marie Sisto, who was murdered by her husband last year.

Your donation can make a difference in the lives of women. The DAIP provides domestic violence training and resources to help community activists, domestic violence workers, practitioners in the criminal and civil justice systems, human service providers, and community leaders make a direct impact on domestic violence — and thanks to your generosity, we have already sent them a check.

But we can do more. Help us reach 50 donors by June 30. Click here to donate.

Viewer’s Guide to Super Bowl XLV

February 6, 2011

By Hello Ladies

Will you be one of the 110 million people watching the Super Bowl today? Enjoy the game, the party, the beer and the snacks. For smart commentary on what’s happening on the field, check out Sarah and ClumberKim over at DraftDaySuit. But also, be an informed viewer about the culture that surrounds the game marred by sexual assault charges.

Have you heard the oft-cited statistic that incidences of domestic violence increase on Super Bowl Sunday? Not true. Domestic violence is a problem everyday and there is no proof to support a spike on game day. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, an estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Why is it important to set the record straight about Super Bowl Sunday? Because some have used the misinformation as a way to discredit the advocates and feminists working towards awareness, education and help for domestic violence victims. If you need help, call the Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY).

Dallas officials and sex trafficking advocates are warning people that Super Bowl host cities are hot spots for sex trafficking. Deena Graves, executive director of child advocacy group Traffick911 told Reuters, “Law enforcement agencies and advocacy groups rescued around 50 girls during the previous two Super Bowls.” Full disclosure, we didn’t fact check this claim about the spike in sex trafficking, so just like with domestic violence, remember these crimes happen everyday. For more information on how to spot and help victims, visit HumanTrafficking.org.

Usher is expected to make a surprise halftime appearance. I think Janet Jackson’s nipple is much more family-friendly than hearing from the artist who tops a list of “Top 10: Songs with Unhealthy Relationship Ingredients,” according to the Boston Public Health Commission.

At least there are no cheerleaders performing at this year’s game. Neither team has a squad, hence the lack of sideline entertainers.

And let’s hope the ads are actually entertaining this year. Last year’s ads had a common theme: men whining about the supposedly emasculating women in their lives.

The best action could easily be President Obama’s pre-game appearance on The O’Reilly Factor (4:45 p.m. ET). Wouldn’t it be amazing if the President took this opportunity to address the anti-woman legislation Congress has been cooking up this session? How ’bout it Mr. President?

News From Around the Web

January 17, 2011

By Hello Ladies

Truth be told, we’re just not up for writing about some of the stories in the news right now. So here’s a roundup of links to some of the topics we should be paying attention to:

Sex trafficking spikes in Super Bowl host cities around the big game. Local officials in Texas are working to educate the community so as to prevent prostitution and help victims.

Stories in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal about the Arizona gunman who shot and killed many at a constituent event held by Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords reveal his misogynistic attitudes.

Speaking of misogyny, Kayne West’s new music video for his song “Monster” features dead women hanging from chains and lying in bed wearing only lingerie. You can read more and view the leaked video in the following link but let us first caution you it is very disturbing.

We hesitate to bring any attention to this tasteless celebrity but we need to talk about the implications of these types of images in the media. As a nation we are examining the level of vitriol and hatred that has infiltrated our political debates and what role it did or didn’t play in last weekend’s shooting. As a society we must also recognize that violence against women is prevalent in our society, and that the barrage of media images, programs and words that perpetuate hatred toward women carry consequences. Sarah Palin took down her infamous crosshairs map after last week’s shooting. Mr. West should cancel the release of his video.

Domestic Violence: Kay’s Story

January 7, 2011

By Hello Ladies

I first met Kim Sisto Robinson while we were both blogging at Skirt! Kim is an incredibly generous writer who shares her capacity for love through her words. The following post first appeared on Kim’s blog, My Inner Chick, and she’s allowed us to share it here too.

Last May, Kim’s sister Kay was murdered by her husband. At Hello Ladies we’ve shared the news and statistics about domestic violence. Kim shares the real story. Please, read it and pass it on.

Help for Domestic Violence

~~At first she stayed because of the children. They were babies. They needed a father.

He was never a father.

Then she stayed because she didn’t want to go on welfare. She was embarrassed to be a single mother with three childrenY going into the grocery store with food stamps.

What would people think?

Then she stayed because of her faith. She loved God. She wanted to do the right thing. She wanted her family together.

What would God think?

He hit her once. After that, he demeaned her, made her feel small, small, small. Told her she was stupid.

She started to believe it.

She didn’t think she could make it on her own. After all, she was only a housewife, a mother, and stupid.

To me, she was Everything.

She stayed because she felt sorry for him, felt responsible for his actions, and saddened about leaving a broken man.

She stayed for 30 long years.

When she finally decided to leave, he begged, he pleaded, he cried. He said that he couldn’t live without her, couldn’t survive without her. He said she was his only friend.

In her journal she wrote this:

“I have nothing else to give him. He will not leave me alone. I feel sorry for him. So very sorry. He continually crushes my spirit. Help me. Help me. Help me.

On May 26, 2010, the monster walked up behind her and shot her three times in the head. Not once, but three times to make damn sure. He then wrapped his arms around her and shot himself.

He was never a man.

Here’s what she would say to all of you in the same predicament.

Get out. Don’t wait another minute. Stand up now, grab your kids, and find shelter.

Leave today.

You are not his therapist, his slave, or his doormat.

You are so much more. You are Everything. You are unbelievably capable. You are beautiful beyond belief.

Make the right decision now. You cannot wait. The cage is opened. Do not remain inside as I did.

Fly:::::::::::::::Fly::::::::::::::::::::::Fly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ARE YOU BEING ABUSED? Ask yourself these questions:

Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
Make all of the decisions?
Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
Force you to try and drop charges?
Threaten to commit suicide?
Threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

click here NOW >http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

—–Kay Marie Sisto was murdered on May 26, 2010 by her ex-husband. Our lives darkened that day…Our lives will never be the same…The world weighs so much less.

To read more from Kim visit www.myinnerchick.com.

Top Stories of 2010

December 30, 2010
By Hello Ladies

Hello Ladies Top Stories of 2010

Based on a review of Hello Ladies’ most popular blog posts in 2010, Scooby Doo, padded bras and cheerleading were top of mind this year, followed by darker discussions of sexual harassment and violence.

Our story on the Cartoon Network’s redrawn Scooby Gang (Daphne got thinner, Thelma got breasts and Fred got ripped) topped the most read list. We think this story’s popularity was actually fueled by another blogger’s story. In November, Nerdy Apple Bottom shared what happened when her five year old son dressed as Daphne for Halloween and the Internet weighed in with opinions.

Whether or not cheerleading is a sport and why the hell department store Primark was selling padded bras for young girls, were the second and third most popular items, respectively, followed by a link to our best buddy, the Old Spice Guy.

Most of the time, we were talking about heavier topics: gang rape, Al Gore’s behavior in a Seattle hotel room, the New York Jet’s behavior toward Ines Sainz, our own story of workplace harassment and CNN’s twisted take on feminism and female empowerment. But we were pleased to see a lot of interest in our story on how to honor Women’s Equality Day by voting, running for office, speaking up and supporting other women.

Here’s hoping in 2011 we’ll be talking less about what others are doing to women and more about the positive things women are doing themselves.

Ring the Bell: Fight Violence Against Women

September 29, 2010
By Hello Ladies

Breakthrough, a human rights organization, has launched a global campaign called designed to fight violence against women. “Ring the Bell” is based on a successful Indian program “Bell Bajao.” The campaign encourages people, especially young boys and men, to ring a doorbell if they hear the sounds of domestic violence and ask a question like, “Do you have the time?”

Breakthrough says this simple act can interrupt the violence, possibly give a woman time to escape, and let the abuser know people are around and listening. While in theory the decision to help someone or to not-get-involved seems simple, in reality, getting involved can be scary and perhaps life-threatening. There is a great read over at BlogHer from a woman who did intervene when she witnessed violence against a woman in her neighborhood.

Domestic violence is a major problem. For more information — how to get help, warning signs, etc. — click here.

Dear Mr. President

July 29, 2010
By Hello Ladies

Dear Mr. President:

I just watched your appearance on “The View.” I had never watched the show before; I’d only seen clips on YouTube of Whoopi Goldberg saying what Roman Polanski did wasn’t “rape rape” and then defending Mel Gibson, because after all what he’s accused of doing isn’t really “abuse abuse.”

The show wasn’t bad and I appreciate the accessibility you offer the media. But Mr. President, here’s the thing: just because I am a woman, just because I am a mom, even though I voted for you and am happy to have you in the White House, you will not win me over by going on daytime television. You could appear on “Real Housewives of New York” or guest star on “Glee” and I wouldn’t care. No, Mr. President – this woman – this American, voting, blogging, mother wants to hear more than standard sound bites interspersed with tales of your family vacation and thoughts on Lindsey Lohan and Justin Bieber spouted from a studio sofa.

If you are trying to appeal to women, than why not address questions about women’s issue? Questions like:

When will we see some progress with the Fair Pay Act? The Lilly Ledbetter Act was a great start but there’s much more work to be done and the wage gap is not closing.

What is the Administration doing to support working families? Where are we with affordable childcare and paid sick leave?

Why haven’t we signed The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW)? To date, 186 of 193 countries have ratified the treaty. The United States has not.

What more can be done to protect women in the Armed Forces from rape and harassment?

Why are our maternal mortality rates so high?

What is happening to our reproductive rights and what are you doing to protect them?

And Mr. President, I don’t care how you deliver the substance. A boring press conference is fine with me. But if you want women to support you, then show us your support of women.

Sincerely,

Hello Ladies

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