Posts Tagged ‘ work life balance ’

What’s Best for Working Mothers

June 7, 2010
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The Mama Bee says the media is failing working mothers. As evidence, she cites Working Mother’s list of Best Companies for Women. Included is Novartis, the drug company that was just ordered to pay $250 million in a sex discrimination suit. Also on the list, Goldman Sachs and Citi, both of which have been sued for pregnancy-related discrimination.

Sharon Lerner, author of the fantastic new book, The War on Moms, writes at Slate, “Thirty-six companies that have been on Working Mother’s 100 Best Companies list have faced “family responsibilities discrimination” suits filed by employees who are pregnant or care for young children, sick family members, or aging parents…” Deloitte and Ernst & Young were two of them.

Then there is Wal-Mart, named one of the Top 10 Best Companies for Women” by PINK magazine. Wal-Mart is embroiled in a massive class action suit involving thousands of female employees. They claim the giant retailer paid them less than men and offered them fewer promotion opportunities.

The Mama Bee is right. (She usually is.) There is very little quality content for working mothers in the media. She writes, “… there are exponentially more publications that tell you how to make the best cupcake or decorate the ideal nursery or plan the perfect birthday party than there are about how to manage your career.” Is it any wonder Working Mother is also reporting that 57 percent of working mothers feel guilty every single day? When frosting and bed skirts get more coverage than the Paycheck Fairness Act, what do we expect?

A few key takeaways from all of this:

- First, companies need to smarten up. There are more women than men on the national payroll and they are a valuable resource. Gender discrimination isn’t just wrong, it’s expensive. According to a report from The Center for WorkLife Law titled, “Family Responsibilities Discrimination Litigation Update 2010“, the number of lawsuits filed by employees with family caregiving obligations has increased almost 400 percent in the past decade. And, employees win in almost half of these cases to an average tune of $500,000.

- Second, women need to do their own homework when they evaluate places to work. “Best companies to work” lists can be starting points, but they often lack any real analysis. Don’t rely on them as your sole data point.

- And third, other women can be the best sources of good information. We just need to start talking to each other – and telling it like it is. So tell me ladies, what do you want to talk about? Use the comment section to suggest future topics for Hello Ladies.

Meet Artist, Blogger, Working Mother Carolyn Draws

May 26, 2010
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Don’t you just love Etsy? You can find great jewelry and gifts there. A few weeks ago I discovered fun giclee prints from Carolyn Draws. Even better, I found Carolyn.

Carolyn Verkuyl is a talented artist, an advertising whiz and a wise woman. She has worked for many of the top Toronto ad agencies. Following the birth of her daughter in 2000, she became a full-time contract worker.  “I loved my job but (having a child) I felt like I had two full time jobs.” She has freelanced ever since working with many of the same agencies and clients who once employed her full-time. I asked Carolyn about pursuing what you love and leaving a full time gig.

When worked started slowing down due to the recession, Carolyn started drawing. “I had illustrated and drawn since I was little and I always got lots of compliments. I always knew I’d have to transition to something other than advertising so I asked myself, ‘What do I do that I absolutely love?’

I can appreciate what Carolyn meant about finding something else. The agency world can be grueling (I’ve worked in several PR firms) and it’s hard to imagine the long hours, the demanding client service and the constant multi-tasking in your 60s and maybe even 50s. If ever there was a candidate for a work/life fit makeover, agencies are it.

She first started illustrating as a way to acquire a portfolio and posted her work on a blog Carolyn Draws. “I’m letting it take me places. I’d love to illustrate a book someday.” People are responding to her work. She’s had some large commissions, exhibited at shows and is selling prints and magnets featuring her work.

And she doesn’t regret her decision to leave her full time gig. Part time schedules are a dream for many women trying to squeeze in more parenting and personal time, but they aren’t always a wise decision. In today’s economy, women need to be prepared to support themselves and their families..

“I hired many women coming off maternity leaves,” says Carolyn . “And I think everybody has to do what’s best for them – some women really, really love their jobs and some women love working from home.”

She does have sage advice for women seeking flexibility at work. “You absolutely have to have a squeaky clean record (at work). As a women, you have fewer coupons to cash in so you really have to work a lot harder to do the same things men do. I do think the spotlight, when it turns on, is a lot brighter (for women).

“Be focused in your objectives.You can’t waiver. The effort is greater but it’s well worth it in the long run.”

Ladies what do you think? Do you have to work harder to prove yourself? And in today’s market, would you give up your full time gig and go freelance?

Leave a comment and we will enter your name in a drawing for Carolyn’s “Week of Cupcakes” print. And for more of her art visit Carolyn Draws on Etsy.com.

Woman in Politics: Harmony Wu

May 25, 2010
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Harmony Wu

Since we’re always urging women to get involved politically, we thought it would be informative to share insights from a woman who is. Last week I sat down with Harmony Wu, a political activist in Needham, Massachusetts to find out what motivates her to do what she does.

I first heard of Wu when I worked on the Martha Coakley for U.S. Senate campaign. Volunteers at the phone bank I managed would come in every night and say, “You need to meet Harmony. You should really meet Harmony.”

Fast forward to the healthcare vote and our induction of Congressman Stephen Lynch into the Ignorant Male Legislator’s club. We posted a job opening for someone to take his place in the Ninth Congressional  district; someone who would represent the district and lead with courage and integrity. Later that same day, we heard Harmony Wu was considering a run for the seat.

After some serious consideration, Wu decided not to run, posting this statement on her website:

Over the last two weeks, I have met with numerous people to address the many aspects of a potential campaign against Mr. Lynch. The ability to maintain my family life during the campaign and as a member of Congress has always been an important factor for me, as it has been for so many women seeking and serving in office. In my case, it prevents me from launching what would be a vigorous campaign and if elected, committing to a life that would require far too much time away from family at this moment in our lives. In the end, this is the decisive factor for me.

I admit I was slightly disappointed that Wu cited family life not just as a factor in her decision, but as a factor for other women considering political life. I understand family first. I do. And in her shoes I may have reached the same decision. I just don’t want to see all women painted with the same broad brush stroke. I don’t buy into the idea that maintaining and preserving the family unit is a woman’s job. I believe it is a parent’s job and should be based on the individual, not the gender. Just like running for office should be an individual decision, not a gender decision.

Fast forward again. I finally met Harmony Wu and she opened up about her decision-making process.  And what she had to say about the prospects for women in politics is a fair and unsurprising commentary from someone who took a close look.

Wu wasn’t always politically active. But observing the Bush administration inspired her to get involved in the last presidential election. “I swore I would do everything in my power to do more,” she says and after the primary she volunteered for the Obama campaign with Organizing for America.

After the presidential election, Wu worked on a local Selectman’s campaign but wasn’t active on a  day-to-day-basis. “Then Ted Kenendy passed away,” she says. And things in Massachusetts changed. Wu went from the Senate race to the race to fill Scott Brown’s State Senator seat. Both candidate’s she supported  lost, but she wasn’t deterred.

In fact her energy and organizing skills attracted attention and Wu was drafted to run against Lynch. “I spent a lot of time exploring, talking to people. There was a lot of support and people telling me, ‘We’ll do what we can.’ But there were also people saying I wasn’t an insider, I had no experience and asking me if I could raise money.”

Wu says her ability to raise money was always the first question asked of her, although for her, the number one question was could she do the job. In the end, she determined that job, one that requires constant fundraising, was not for her.

I asked Wu if, based on what she saw up close, a woman could get elected in Massachusetts? “You know there’s a woman thing, but also a regular person thing,” she says. “Unless you’re on a path to be Guy Smiley from the day you’re born, it’s tough to break in. There’s a gate, a barrier. The lifestyle is different. It’s not family friendly.

“It’s the professionalizing of politics. You have to be in it — in training. It’s been made so unattractive. Massachusetts politics… it’s a tough club.”

Still, Wu believes there’s a “huge pent up desire” to see a woman elected, at least in the more progressive communities.  And she is by no means backing down. She isn’t running for Congress but she is supporting Mac D’Alessandro in his primary bid against Lynch, tearing up the Twitter on the #mapoli hashtag and organizing her neighbors at Yes We Can Needham.  Wu won’t hold an elected office any time soon, but she will hold those in office accountable. And if you’re a progressive woman looking to run, Wu’s probably got your back.

REMINDER: We are giving away a print from Carolyn Draws. Leave a comment and we’ll enter you in our contest.

Female Breadwinner Will Survive

December 16, 2009
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manvaccuumFirst I was afraid. I was petrified.

I heard there was a new study from the University of Missouri in Columbia on women breadwinners. Studies about women always make me nervous. After all, people are still buzzing about the research Marcus Buckingham’s been touting on why woman are supposedly so unhappy. And yet, the data does not fully support Buckingham’s claims. And then there was a study out of the UK that said children whose mothers work are less healthy than those whose mothers stay at home. From The Guardian, “Working mothers are more likely to drive their children to school and the youngsters are more likely to watch TV, drink fizzy pop and eat too few portions of fruit and vegetables.” (FYI, there’s no fizzy pop in my house.)

So I could only imagine a study about women breadwinners would paint us as power hungry bitches by day and slothful, self-absorbed mothers at night. (Or was I just projecting?)  As it turns out, the study was relatively harmless.

Dr. Rebecca Meisenbach, who conducted the research, reports “The female breadwinner is an increasingly important and common role in contemporary society, one that impacts family relationships, individual identities, and organizational policies.” I thought we already knew this. But hey, it’s always good to have research to back up our beliefs. Meisenbach goes on to report that women breadwinners experience several common emotions:

 Control – some want it and some don’t

Independence – considered a positive

Ambition – also considered a positive

Pressure- to perform at work and home, and to respect and value a spouse’s contributions

Worry, guilt and resentment.

Because I am a breadwinner and have been for more than 15 years, it is difficult for me to see what’s so interesting about this study. I’ve always thought these emotions were felt by all parents, spouses and partners, regardless of full-time, part-time, stay-at-home, breadwinner or contributor status. Aren’t work/life balance, care-giving and relationships challenging no matter who pays for the groceries and who cooks dinner?

Meisenbach also discusses the idea that working women who are primary breadwinners “articulate themselves as the ones who ’see’ household messes and needs as a way to retain claim to an element of traditional female identity.” When my husband stopped working altogether, I remember struggling with the fact that he had more say in how the household was run than I did. So it was interesting for me to read this was a common experience.

Except it may not be. Meisenbach only interviewed 15 women for this study. One third of American households have a woman breadwinner and this study runs the risk of defining all of them based on 15 people. To that I say:

Go on now go, walk out the door.

Meisenbach’s work has merit but it is hardly extensive enough to define all women breadwinners. The study may be harmless but the headlines it’s generating are not.

The Wall Street Journal “Trade-Offs When Mom’s the Primary Breadwinner”

United Press International “A Woman Working Impacts All Relationships”

The Guardian, ” ‘Useless stay-at-home men’ a female myth”

Web Newswire “Female breadwinners bring home the bacon and tension”

India Business Blog “Working women nag hubbies to feel more feminine: Study”

And my personal favorite,

Daily News and Analysis “The Thought Process of Female Breadwinners”

This report is not the thought process of female breadwinners. It is the thought process of 15 female breadwinners. Let’s keep that in perspective. And as far as the mainstream media and their sensational treatment of women’s issues:

Just turn around now. You’re not welcome anymore.

(Note: Click on headline for some disco fun.)

The Skinny on Breast-Feeding

November 13, 2009
By

brownieMajor eye-rolling ensued when I read the article in The New York Times this week about breast-feeding and weight loss. Now that women have surpassed men on the national payroll shouldn’t we be talking about the obstacles women face pumping at work? (FYI, you can check out Moms to Work and The Savvy Gal for those stories.)

To be fair, the Times has written several articles this year on breast-feeding. They’ve covered the health benefits for mothers and babies, a link between breast-feeding and lower breast cancer rates, and the challenges of working, travelling and pumping.  But I am more interested in changing work/life policies that favor working parents than I am in changing my waistline.

The eye-rolling started at this sentence:

These days, more than ever, a mother is expected to bounce back from pregnancy and be a “yummy mummy” in no time.

And really got going here:

Earlier this year, Rebecca Romijn, who wore a shrink-wrapped outfit in “X-Men,” called breast-feeding her new twins “the very best diet I’ve been on.” After Angelina Jolie posed for the November 2008 cover of W magazine nursing one of her twins, she said that it had helped her regain her figure.

Come on, NYT. We expect People Magazine and US Weekly to feed us that load of BS. But the Gray Lady? Surely, you suspect nutritionists, trainers and eating disorders play a role in postpartum celebrity body bounce backs, don’t you?

Maybe I’m bitter because even though I nursed, I’m still trying to shed the weight I gained while pregnant with my daughter. (She’s five.) And certainly, I’m not above wanting to look good postpartum. At my 12 week checkup following the C-section delivery of my firstborn, my doctor asked me how I was healing.

“I’m bleeding,” I said.

She looked concerned. “That doesn’t sound right. Your scar was healing nicely.”

“It’s not my scar,” I confessed. “It’s my stomach. I tried to wear my pre-pregnancy jeans and my fat got caught in the zipper.”

But it was this quote that really got my eyes-rolling:

Ms. Walker thinks breast-feeding mothers shouldn’t feel guilty for loving the calorie burn. “We deserve it,” she said. “She ought to get into those skinny jeans after 9 months of pregnancy and 20 hours of labor. That’s what I tell mothers. Go for it.”

Hey Ms. Walker: You know what I deserve after 9 months of pregnancy and 36 hours of labor? A pass on how I look and a big fat fudge brownie!

 

What to Do About Swine Flu

October 8, 2009
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MCj04406770000[1]Last year, on the last day of school before spring vacation, a little boy at my son’s school threw up as he was filing into school in the morning. Word quickly spread among the parents waving goodbye to their kids.

I was furious at first. “How could the boy’s mother not have noticed he was sick this morning? How selfish of her to send him too school. My kids better not get sick during vacation.”

And I like to think I’m a feminist. Hah! My response was horrible. Human, but horrible.

For starters, I automatically placed responsibility for the child’s health on his mother. Sure, it’s mostly mothers dropping off at this school. But that doesn’t absolve fathers from parenting responsibilities. Next, I don’t think you can predict vomit. And finally, maybe that mother, like 57 million other Americans doesn’t have any paid sick days.

Or maybe she does have paid sick days, but she was saving her days off to spend time with her kids during school vacation.  Or maybe, she had used up all of her sick leave when the flu went around the school a few months earlier. I know my kids and I were knocked out for days in that round. And maybe, like so many workers in this economy, she was afraid to call out of work for fear of losing her job. Or maybe, she simply didn’t know her child was sick. I don’t know why she sent her son to school that day. But I do know this.

  • As friends and neighbors we need to practice some compassion this flu season because it is threatening to be a nasty one. And most corporate entities aren’t known for compassion.
  • As working parents, we need to plan ahead for when our children get sick. That means lining up the grandparents, sitters, friends, neighbors, sick-daycare services now so we always have a Plan B.
  • As citizens, we need to tell Congress to pass the Healthy Families Act requiring employers with 15 or more full-time employees to provide at least seven paid sick days a year.

We know that an estimated 22 million women do not have any paid sick leave. We know that women handle up to 53 percent more time than men on household activities including childcare. And we know that women occupy more of the lower earning jobs where working from home is not an option. Hello Ladies, we need to rectify this.

Start by clicking here to send a letter to your Senators urging them to support the bill.

Pat Buchanan among us

October 6, 2009
By
No work ethic?

No work ethic?

The other day, while researching a story about diversity on Wall Street, I interviewed the author of a book on anti-discrimination laws. Our conversation reminded me of the debate between Rachel Maddow and Pat Buchanan during the Supreme Court nomination hearings for Justice Sonia Sotamayor.

Remember when Buchanan went on Maddow’s show and explained why most of our Supreme Court justices have been white men? He said, “White men were one hundred percent of the people that wrote the Constitution, one hundred percent of the people that signed the Declaration of Independence, one hundred percent of the people who died at Gettysburg and Vicksburg, probably close to one hundred percent of the people who died at Normandy. This has been a country built basically by white folks…That’s why.”

You can watch the clip here.

It’s easy to mock Buchanan, roll your eyes, dismiss him and think, “Well he’s just playing for the camera in an attempt to get ratings.” Hello Ladies, that mentality exists — not just on the TV, but in everyday life.

This author I was talking to dismissed gender discrimination in the workplace as no longer explicit but now subtle; institutional. My own work experience backs that up. But that doesn’t make it any less wrong. He seemed to think it did. He said claims of hostile work environments were bad practice and cause anxiety on the end of the people who may have offended.  How unfair of us to stress out those who discriminate! I was already getting annoyed and then this man channeled Buchanan.

He said, the reason we don’t see more women in senior management positions on Wall Street is because of work ethic — women don’t work as hard as men. He said “the white guys with the Ivy league degrees are running so scared of losing out due to affirmative action and quota hiring practices” that they work 24/7 to protect their jobs.

He and I seemed to agree on two things:

  1. It is a problem there aren’t more women in senior management positions. But I see the problem as a lack of diverse thinking at the top, and proof that discrimination exists and outdated workplace policies make managing family and career difficult. And he sees the problem as the reason those already in power have to work so hard to defend their positions.
  2. Workplace discrimination is often subtle and hard to fight. But he seems to think don’t fight it and I find myself thinking how, how do we fight it?
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